Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Straight Up Hood

posted by IntrinsicBent

Seems that on the eve of the Martin Luther King holiday, a new basketball league announced that it would be forming. It has targeted Augusta, Georgia as it's hopeful birthplace.

The problem is that the All American Basketball Alliance has some pretty racy guidelines for inclusion/exclusion:

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league".

This is the point where you go to the bottom right corner of your monitor, click on the time, and double check the calendar to see what year this is.'s not 1957. It's still 2010.

Check out this additional primer in supremacist speak that the upstart league's Commissioner Moose (Don "Moose" Lewis) dishes out:

He wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of "street-ball" played by "people of color."

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

(There's nothing hatred? A GED would have helped that)

"Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" he said. "That's the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction."

"People will come out and support a product they can identify with. I'm the spoken minority right now, but if people will give us a chance, it'll work... The white game of basketball, which is essentially a fundamental game, works."

Did you catch that new racist code boys and girls? Fundamental basketball/game = White basketball. You can't dribble through your legs in that robe.

The Moose seems to believe that the Southeast is the best place to locate 12 teams. The licensee fee is $10k.

Will they have Woody Harrelson throw up the first jump ball?

We know the concession stand will offer Haterade, but will they ban nachos and Hot Tamales because they're too ethnic?

Unfortunately, this wasn't the only hint of racism on the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

Story Source

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Big Unit Likely To Retire From Blasting Birds This Wednesday

posted by IntrinsicBent

LHP Randy Johnson is likely to announce his retirement from baseball this Wednesday according to reports.

Johnson's sick pitching which included sound barrier breaking speed, and George Sanford type junk saw many storied battles with a multitude of team and individual successes. 

Johnson came to prominence with the Seattle Mariners after a stint with the Montreal Expos. He has played with six teams, including two separate enlistments with the Arizona Diamondbacks, where he won a World Series ring in 2001.

When you see Johnson's career accomplishments it's like a player you'd build in a video game (sans mullet probably):

  • Five time Cy Young Winner, receiving the award pitching in both leagues.
  • Ten time All Star
  • World Series Champ and co-MVP in 2001
  • Pitched a no hitter (1990)
  • Pitched a perfect game (2004, the oldest at 40 to ever do so)
  • One of 4 pitchers ever to 4,000 strikeouts
  • 24th pitcher in MLB history to win 300 games
  • First in 300 Win Club to ever beat every team in the MLB.
All those are amazing feats, but the Big Unit will always be remembered for helping with bird control while pitching in a preaseason exhibition.

Tip of the cap Unit!

Stat Source: Wikipedia